In the age of the dental patient as Google reviews contributor, we’re grateful for all our wonderful supporters who have published testimonials. Yet for the love of dentists, we don’t get many letters, if any. So we discovered a regular blogger willing to concoct a mythical letter, an archetypal exploration of the patient-to-dentist relationship when at its best. Please indulge us sharing it with you.

Dear Dentist,

The relationship we have is an interesting one, and one that I have with no other. It’s a privilege to have you in my life; I’m so glad to have found you. You’re a caring, communicative craftsperson with a team that is so supportive and understanding of my specific needs that (like my teeth!) it’s a bond I intend to keep.

I trust that’s reciprocal; I do my best to be a good dental patient.

I’m certainly always willing to tell you everything that’s going on. Other health issues, medications, any stress I may be under – it all makes it easier for you, and your job’s hard enough as it is. Selfishly, whatever’s less complicated for you directly transfers to me, so it’s only fair to mention that. You can tell whether I’m brushing properly, flossing regularly (mostly) smoking (sometimes never) and eating like an adult rather than a toddler, so there’s no point pretending. I thank you for not making me feel bad about whatever the truth is.

It’s respectful. And I hope you decipher the way I always follow your advice is my respect for you in action.

It won’t be news to you that you’re not my first – there have been others. Realistically, not only will there have been, but there certainly should have been with the decades that stretch since I cut my first tooth. I say ‘stretch’ but there’s nothing remotely elastic about it.

There’s no going back, no shortening, taking-in or altering any of it. However, there has been resilience. Maybe that’s what makes the word feel apt. That, and the way it accommodates segments that are a little disintegrated or a bit fatigued, were we to have that meta perspective. The ability to look into the past and the future is no doubt a gift – and you have it.

It’s an odd thing, having the capacity to see beyond the present.

We seem decidedly more intrigued when it’s delivered via a pack of tarot cards or a cryptic quatrain penned by Nostradamus – maybe even a self-proclaimed psychic at an outdoor festival. We don’t know what these people know; the interpretation of what they tell is entirely up to us.

We know that you know what you’re talking about. What you tell us is analysed information from an examination. It’s not guesswork. It’s your discernment and reasoning. Our part in it is being privy to the education you offer, the guidance that you give, and being under the care of a skilled professional. The dental treatments and interventions you’re able to perform can turn back time or stop it in its tracks. Either way, that many are anxious or fearful of dental visits is great shame – they know not what they’re missing.

That oral health is incredibly important isn’t something I need to be telling you. You’re the one who can detect systemic disorders like diabetes, heart disease and osteoporosis from gum inflammation, loose teeth and bad breath.

There are greater odds on you recommending me to a doctor than a doctor suggesting I need to see you, which is an observation I’m not sure many make. It has those 6-monthly appointments almost a 2-for-1. Sounds a bit like an All-on-4; those implants I’ve heard about. For the moment, I’d rather concentrate on the idea of 2-for-1 with my preference (of course) for retaining my own teeth.

It’s why I see you.

Admittedly, I wish I’d been more diligent in the past.

Having a check-up and professional clean twice a year just didn’t seem so important. My teeth looked okay, and the sporadic gum bleeding didn’t ever last long. I didn’t understand that that was gingivitis, which can lead to periodontal disease. Nor was I aware of the plaque build-up. I’m glad I know now. That it’s so simply treated in comparison to gum disease has me appreciate that whatever the cost of seeing you twice a year, is negligible. I don’t let my car leak oil and just hope it goes away – so I’m not sure why I did that.

Actually, I kind of am.

I’m not great at putting myself first; which is really stupid, I know. Without me, there is no me. (Might have to send in some psychological archeologist for that one.) I’m aware that my oral health greatly affects my mental wellbeing and don’t worry, it’s all good. I think it’s a learned behaviour I need to unlearn.

It’s not you, it’s me.

It’s not you that left me with uncomfortable associations of being in the chair. Other dentists, other times. Our family dentist had much less training and fewer skills to deal with a terrified 11-year-old needing four extractions before my brilliant orthodontist could work his magic. Three years of metal braces was a small price to pay for decades of beautifully straight teeth and the easy pleasure of smiling.

Adulthood did bring an unfortunate experience with a clinic that resulted in a painful gum infection from unsterilised tools. Something I’d never considered was even possible, but there you have it. It made me very wary for quite a while.

Naturally, I found another dentist. He was great – kind, skilled, patient – and then he retired. I’m just really sorry that the many exceptional dentists pay for those that went before them who weren’t up to par; and they live in our minds for too long. They don’t deserve to take up that space. If memories were dental prosthetics, it’s a site that needs to be replaced with a zirconia crown.

Anyway, if it wasn’t weird and unprofessional I’d kiss you. Were it not for your competence, concern and efficiency, I wouldn’t be able to healthily and confidently kiss anyone. Nor would I be able to eat lovely chewy, crunchy or firm foods; and I can’t take you to dinner either.

So please, let this be a token of my gratitude for the benefit that your years of study, practise and expertise bring to my life. You enhance and extend the quality of it through your dedication and diligence. Whenever you have a challenging day, read this, and know it’s from every person you’ve ever helped, healed and given new hope.

Kind regards,

Your patient Dental Patient.

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