Yeezuz! Ye! Take It Yeezy On The Dentistry!

The thing about Ye (formerly Kanye West) is that you don’t have to know anything about him to know things about him.

It must run in the family.

No end of avoidance strategies can be employed to intentionally not expose oneself to the antics of his former wife Kim Kardashian and her family, and yet there will still be familiarity with too many of their products and all the names of the KK kids: a compass, something Catholic, a city, and a him that’s a hymn.

There’s the yes-she-did-no-she-didn’t ruination of the iconic Mackie-designed Jean Louis dress; once only ever connected to Marilyn (formerly Norma Jean).

Believe It Or Not, Ripley’s, it’s ripped.

It’s forever torn history from its rightful place: May 19th 1962, where a breathless Monroe rendition of ”Happy Birthday” settled its seductive self over Madison Square Garden ten days before JFK’s 45th.

Seventy-seven days later Marilyn was dead, conspiracies were born and Jack unknowingly would up that ante not quite sixteen months later.

What right Kim ‘Kardcashian’ figured she had interpolating that is anyone’s guess; but I don’t get the surgeries and splurgeries either. I also don’t get how a 10-year-old spruiking 20 words charts at 30 on the Billboard Hot 100.

That your dad’s Ye (this week) and it’s his single helps.

That he once campaigned for President and you have a tiara doesn’t.

That there’ll be therapy at eleven is inevitable. (By the clock, not the calendar.) I guess if you can unapologetically wreck a one-of-a-kind 60-year-old gown, spoiling a growing kid is child’s play.

When Ye (no middle or last name) wasn’t Saint Pablo, Yeezus, Yeezy or anticipating having Christian Genius Billionaire Kanye West on his driver’s licence, he was just Kanye West, 24-year-old rapper. In a pair of Adidas he’d be hittin’ 50 a bit faster than 3 years from now, and regardless of a 2023 album, the only thing he’s rappin’ is his teeth.

In foil, it by the look of it.

Like he unwrapped the gum, threw the stick in the bin and shoved what was left in his hand in his mouth.

With continuous controversy of all things dark and delirious in which he is the centre, no doubt the man’s part teflon. Warhol’s prophetic 15-minutes-of-fame has 21st-centuried itself into 15 months of infamy and having titanium teeth really puts the meddle to the metal.

Ye’s been grilled before and he’s had grills before – but this is a whole new enchilada. If he was going for shock value with the purported cost being $US850k, seems that what he got is schlock.

Apparently, at any one time Ye has twelve dentists. Apostles, maybe? Obviously it’s Yeezy finding Ye’s men since it’s been reported that this ornamental metal dental mental was created by him and inspired by Jaws (The Bond villain, not the shark). Here’s the design by the self-proclaimed “father of diamond dentistry”, Thomas Connelly.

After all, he’s an entrepreneur with a design company. (Among other moneyed and mundane things.) For him having designs on himself is hardly news.

What might be news, is the trouble he might be heading for with his lightweight, high strength, low corrosion choppers. Curiously, that’s very much descriptive of teeth, but why settle for pearly whites when you can go silvery-grey with discomfort by degrees.

Titanium is commonly used in dentistry. Normally, just in the posts surgically implanted in the jaw for well, implants. It can trigger the immune system and cause an inflammatory response, so you’ve gotta wonder what can be going on with a mouth full of it, surrounded by all that lovely soft tissue that makes kissing so nice. It’s so connected to the bloodstream, faster than ingestion or inhalation, are topical pain relievers and oral rescue medicines that made to be rubbed on the gums.

Not sure how much Ye knows about that.

He has a new wife, who seems to be trying really hard to be more interesting and relevant than his old one, however ostensibly interchangeable they appear to be. Bianca Censori’s schtick seems to be a cancel culture of clothing unless it could be censored, and you’d think that as a qualified Melbourne-raised architect she’d be building something better than that.

For some reason she strikes us as his nah-nah-nah-nahnah wife, given that like a Coney Island mirror maze, Ye and his first-she bizarrely reflect each other.

They both did a contentious Marilyn thing in short order – for Ye it was Manson; for Kardy, Monroe. Echoing the did-she-didn’t-she damaged dress debacle, Ye has garnered the same attention as to whether or not his Ti-teeth are permanent, removable; and if his permanent teeth were removed.

Like the validity of his talent, and the suitability of a 10-year-old being given a diamond grill, it’s hard to say.

So what are the facts on Ye’s yaw?

It has been equally reported as a “denture-like structure” that is “fixed and permanent” after having had his teeth removed; along with it being a custom prosthodontic that like hip hop stars at night, can be taken out.

Doubt has been cast on its almost million-dollar price tag, with some dentists weighing in that more fittingly, it’d be around the $US65k mark. With nobody having sighted the invoice, who would know, really. Having Ye turn up at your Beverly Hills clinic would be much like turning up at an event venue and mentioning the word ‘wedding’.

It’s also the thing that in describing Ye as a patient, has the words, “His vision for designing unique art transcends the dental progression” come out of your mouth even though you hold a Doctor of Dental Surgery degree.

The Hills are alive with the sound of music’s bling ka-ching! and forcibly removing any air of intelligence.

Leading dental experts have raised concerns about this smile makeover. It’s been suggested that regardless of the custom cleaning equipment claimed to have been supplied by the Ti-teeth technician, the two bulky pieces will be hard to keep debris and bacteria-free.

Bad breath, and (probably-still-there-but-shaved) teeth sensitivity, along with decay are just the beginning of the probable long-term effects. Infection and gum disease also chart high in this Grillboard Hot 100 Reasons To Not Do Unreasonable Things To Your Teeth.

The changes to Ye’s facial structure and soft tissue integrity is also cited as major drawbacks that will ultimately influence the way in which he talks and sings – possibly not a such bad thing in the scheme of all this media attention-scheming.

His teeth will move, weakening the glue bond and resulting in what’s referred to as ‘microgaps’ that will loosen the bridge. With all this mayhem going on in his mouth, bacteria has vast opportunity to actually get inside his teeth.

This is the price willingly paid for social media platform splatter. Which makes eight-hundred-and-fifty grand comparatively paltry.

Since it’s only fair to wrap this dental makeover yarn up with the last word to the rapper, hear Ye: Yikes.

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